Knife of Evil

Artistic reconstruction of a picture of The Knife of Evil as seen on a Masters of the Galaxy hoodie. Done by DraygonofEbony.

The Knife of Evil is one of the three Relics of Legend said to be created by the Starlords; in actuality, it was created by an apparent rogue Starlord.

History

Eons before Dundee was founded, the Starlords (known to ancient Dundonians as "gods of warfare") waged war against an unknown evil in 10000 BD and defeated it with the three relics. Afterwards, they descended to Earth and hid the three Relics to "safeguard from doom" in Caledonia. The Knife of Evil ended up in the swamps of Paisley, where Zargothrax found it in 865 AD, though whether it was placed there intentionally or lost is uncertain.

Zargothrax immediately used the Knife to create a force of undead unicorns, and 127 years later launched his assault on Dundee on September 14th, 992 AD, swiftly overwhelming the city and its defenders. The Knife apparently remained in his possession as it was otherwise not found when the wizard was cast into liquid ice, where he remained that way for ten centuries until the Chaos wizards broke him out in 1992. Nonetheless, the Kingdom of Fife knew of the Knife's existence.

When The Hootsman detonated his neutronic heart, stopping the arrival of Kor-Virliath, only Zargothrax survived the Transnova explosion. Escaping through the resultant wormhole, he ended up in the Terrorvortex far in that realm's past.

Terrorvortex

Zargothrax wasted no time in cementing his dominance; in 990 AD he stabbed Ser Proletius of that reality, corrupting him into a Dreadlord, and with the Grandmaster on his side subverted the entirety of the Knights of Crail.

In 992, with only Dunkeld being the last openly surviving holdout of justice in the land, Zargothrax encountered Angus McFife XIII again, and forced him to flee after revealing that the Hammer of Glory has no power in the Terrorvortex. While Angus quested to regain his Hammer's former glory, Zargothrax busied himself within Dundee, learning that he must use the upcoming solar conjunction and the Knife of Evil together through an incantation to finally transcend mortality and become a god himself.

In 993, during the battle of Cowdenbeath, in spite of the Forces of Justice's efforts, Zargothrax's ritual to godhood could not be stopped. Just as all hope seemed to be lost, the Hootsman returned from the heavens, revealing himself to be the true god of the Terrorvortex. Together, both Angus and the Hootsman defeated Zargothrax, stopping him permanently. But the wizard had one final hurrah; in the confusion of battle, he managed to impale Angus the Thirteenth through with the Knife of Evil, and ensured that evil would triumph. Angus subsequently descended into the volcano Schiehallion to die.

Universe 38B

The death of Zargothrax triggered an interdimensional signal, which awoke a clone by the name of Alpha-1 in 1022 AD, splitting the Prime timeline in two. The clone wasted no time in summoning a nuclear bomb from 1961 AD and destroying Dundee, fulfilling Anstruther's dark prophecy

In 1042 AD, Alpha-1 broke into the fortress of Crail, armed with the Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem, and freed Zargothrax 38B from his cryogenic prison. Proclaiming that he would use "the knife and the blaster [to] conjoin [them] at the brain" the thawed wizard declared to Angus McFife II that he would perish by the power of two wizards. The Robot Prince of Auchtertool put up a valiant defense but proved no match for the Knife of Evil, and was killed by Zargothrax 38B. But before an epic battle could be fight, the moment the three legendary relics met in combat, the Starlords intervened and destroyed both wizards, taking back the relics.

Properties

The Knife of Evil's effects can be counteracted by the Amulet of Justice, as Angus McFife I used it to both free Zargothrax's undead unicorns and break Princess Iona McDougall's prison of ice.

Christopher Bowes' Instagram write-up

THE KNIFE OF EVIL: An anti-telharsic hyperquenched cryoblade of unparalleled terror.

Forged countless aeons ago by a mysterious chaotic Stargod, The Knife of Evil is a short blade made of a hyperquenched cryofluid (commonly known as "liquid ice"), held in stasis by an anti-telharsic forcefield, which comes to an infinitely sharp point. Its handle is made of Primordial Infinitum, the hardest substance in the known universe.

When the blade is stabbed into a target, the physical momentum flux generates a subatomic spin in the internal cryofluid, known as a "quantum turbine". When this turbine interacts with the boundary layer between the cryofluid and the anti-telharsic field, it induces an electroweak force perpendicular to both the direction of thrusting and the direction of the 7th dimension (where the telharsic field exhibits it's effect). This resolves non-euclidan vectors into the 18th hell dimension, opening a microgateway to hell in the victim.

The resulting effect is truly terrifying...anyone stabbed by the Knife of Evil immediately becomes possessed by the demon spirit of an Elder Hellgod, charged with dark energies and the sole purpose of destroying the forces of Justice.

Known victims

• Unicorns in 865 AD
• Ser Proletius in 990 AD (Terrorvortex)
• Angus McFife XIII in 993 AD (Terrorvortex)
• The Robot Prince of Auchtertool in 1042 AD (Universe 38B) (unique in that he was only killed, not converted)